fic: hang with me (kurt/blaine, 2/4)

[firstaudrina]

hang with me (2/4)
Kurt/Blaine, Blaine-centric.
PG // 2543





Summary: Blaine tries not to notice the difference between Home Kurt and Dalton Kurt but it's kind of hard not to.



Part One







Notes: Goes AU after Sexy; lovely as it was, canon of Original Songs and all that follows is not taken into account.









when you see me drift astray
outta touch and outta place
will you tell me to my face?
then I guess you can hang with me








A massive stumbling block in their friendship occurs when Blaine admits he doesn't really get Lady Gaga at all.


Once he gets over his initial horror and is willing to speak to Blaine again, Kurt spends a full Saturday teaching Blaine the choreography from Alejandro in the backyard of his house. Blaine doesn't really understand how that's supposed to change anything but he supposes it'll be a good party trick at least (and Kurt insists it'll help with Blaine's "hopping thing," as he calls it).


In the middle of Kurt showing him the next step, Blaine sees the curtains in the kitchen window shift back into place and he knows Mr. Hummel was just peeking out at them. Blaine sighs. Mr. Hummel still doesn't seem thrilled with him – he keeps a careful eye on the two of them together, quietly assessing, and is laconic but not really rude.


"Blaine," Kurt says sharply. "You are not paying attention. Claw hand, remember – what are you doing –"


Blaine stays for dinner, tugging uncomfortably at his sweater, feeling weird and out of place in his street clothes. Kurt's stepmom is sweet but his father is still rather brusque and Blaine is so nervous; he just wants them to like him but all his usual tricks – hyper politeness, quick friendly smiles – only serve to make Mr. Hummel's frown deeper.


It isn't until after, when Kurt walks him to the door and trills, "He likes you!" that Blaine even gets a hint that he was reading everything wrong.










Blaine tries not to notice the difference between Home Kurt and Dalton Kurt but it's kind of hard not to. Home Kurt waltzes around in an impressive array of ensembles, looking at ease in his skin. He is sharper with Blaine and never tries to hide his smiles. Dalton Kurt is polite, courteous, conscientious, and a whole lot of other words better suited to a report card.










"If it were possible," Blaine asks one day, "would you transfer back?"


Kurt hesitates. He's gluing sequins to the floor of Pavarotti's cage in an elaborate swirling pattern. "What do you mean, possible?"


Not an outright answer, Blaine notes. "If Karofsky wasn't a problem anymore."


Kurt sighs a little and returns to his task, picking up his glue gun carefully. "Karofsky isn't the only problem I had at McKinley." Thoughtfully, he adds, "It does cross my mind sometimes, though."


Blaine nods. "Of course."


"But I wouldn't want to put the burden of protecting me on my friends," Kurt continues. "It isn't their problem."


"It's always better to be safe," Blaine says. "Always."


Kurt nods but doesn't really look convinced.










It had only taken one incident for Blaine's parents to yank him out of public school and ensconce him safely in Dalton.


In eighth grade, Blaine had a massive crush on a kid named Jack in his Chem class. They weren't really friends, per se, but they were friendly enough and one day when a group of them went to the movies, he tried to hold Jack's hand. Jack flinched but didn't say anything, so Blaine slumped in his seat, embarrassed, and hoped it wasn't going to be a big deal.


Of course everyone knew by Monday. All of a sudden nobody wanted to be Blaine's friend anymore.


Blaine's crush made him stupid (Blaine's crushes always make him stupid).


He'd been fine though – a little sad, maybe, but fine. He was good at landing on his feet. He joined a Gay/Straight Alliance, made new friends. He was fine.


To make the best of it, he and one new friend decided to go to a dance together. Blaine let himself get excited about it, too; he always thinks later that that was his first mistake.


Three guys jumped them. Blaine ended the night with a bloody lip, some bruises, and five stitches. End of story.


The funny thing was, Blaine tried and tried to convince his parents that it was an isolated thing. That it would never happen again.


"It's always better to be safe," his mother said. "It does not make you a coward."


Bruises yellowing on his face, Blaine had reluctantly agreed.


Once or twice he's thought of telling Kurt this story. It's just that every time he opens his mouth something else comes out instead – something trivial, about a movie or a song, something that doesn't matter. He doesn't know why he can't say it. He doesn't know why the thought of Kurt leaving Dalton bothers him so much. As a friend, he should want whatever makes Kurt happy.


Blaine just can't stop thinking about the first time he met Kurt, the tears in his eyes, or the way it felt when Jack hit him, the absurdly awful blossoming of pain.


Blaine doesn't understand why anyone would go back to a place that made them feel like that.










Pavarotti dies the week before Regionals. David's convinced it's an omen. Blaine privately wonders if maybe Pav swallowed a sequin.


Kurt is despondent. He comes to their next Warblers meeting all in black (it's kind of startling, like Home Kurt has invaded Dalton) and sings, but it doesn't seem to offer him very much comfort. Blaine doesn't know how to fix it, but he knows someone else can so he texts Mercedes before Kurt's last note is over.


"That was beautiful, Kurt," Blaine says after, breaking the no-touching rule and taking Kurt's hand. "Pavarotti would be proud."


"He was just a bird," Kurt murmurs, a little disdainful but mostly sad.


"That doesn't mean he wasn't important to you." Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand and gets a tiny smile in return.


Kurt is kidnapped by his old friends for almost all of the following week; Blaine only sees him in class or practice. The next time they get a chance to hang out is a few days before Regionals, grabbing coffee after Wes made them run through the performance five times more than was necessary.


Kurt is all smiles, full of anecdotes and updates about everyone in New Directions, how he visited the old choir room, how much fun they were having preparing.


He looks happier than Blaine can remember seeing him.


"You want to go back," Blaine says. Not a question.


Kurt pauses mid-story, silent and caught, before saying, "Well. I – They're my best friends. And Dalton is – it's great but…it's not really…home." Sympathetically, he adds, "I haven't decided anything."


Blaine's brow knits and more sharply than he means to, he says, "Fine."


Kurt seems startled by his vehemence. "Blaine?"


He feels himself flush in anger (and also embarrassment at being so angry). "You should go back. Go back to the place you had to run from because it was so awful."


"What is your problem?" Kurt narrows his eyes, looking hurt and furious.


"I don't have a problem," Blaine snaps, grabbing his bag and abandoning his coffee as he makes a beeline for the door.










Kurt announces he's leaving at the next meeting.


"After Regionals, of course," he says with a little ankle dip, hands clasped.


Huffy, Blaine keeps his arms folded and his eyes trained on the floor. "What about your issues?"


Kurt's pleasant smile turns a touch forced. "I have no idea what you're talking about but if I did I would tell you to mind your own business."


David raises an eyebrow at Blaine as though to say fighting again? Blaine shakes his head minutely.


"Well Kurt," Wes begins, "we are very sorry to see you leave. It's been excellent having you here." He nods and offers Kurt a small smile (which, coming from Wes, might as well be a bear hug). "We wish you the best of luck."


"Thank you." Kurt looks away from Blaine and says sincerely, "I'll miss you guys. You've all been wonderful."










They lose at Regionals. They're good but Blaine's heart isn't in it. He knows it shows. When one of them is off, all of them are off.


He expects Kurt to rush to join New Directions' celebrations but Kurt finds him instead. Blaine is sitting alone in the wings, utterly dejected.


Still feeling bitter, Blaine says, "Looks like you get to go to Nationals anyway. Lucky you."


Kurt pulls a wayward chair over and sits next to Blaine. "I'm not happy the Warblers lost. I was rooting for us just as much as you were."


"You're officially not a Warbler anymore," Blaine reminds him. "So there's no 'us.'"


He sighs impatiently. "Blaine, what's going on? Why are you so mad at me?"


For leaving, Blaine thinks. But that's not entirely fair; Blaine's also angry with himself – for letting his emotions get in his way again, for not being more supportive, for ruining Regionals for everyone because he wasn't on his game.


"We were friends before I came to Dalton," Kurt continues gently. "That won't change when I leave."


"I know." Blaine looks across the empty stage, up into the rafters, anywhere but at Kurt. "I don't know why I'm so upset. I'm worried about you."


"I'll be okay." He nudges Blaine's shoulder. "Santana fixed it all, you know. I couldn't speak to her motives, but she orchestrated the entire thing. Karofsky even apologized." Kurt tilts his head to the side, thoughtful. "I think he meant it too."


Blaine doesn't know whether or not to believe that but he'd like to so he lets it lie. "Are you happy?"


Tentatively, Kurt nods. "It's…a relief. I think it's where I'm supposed to be."


"I know this is something you really want," Blaine says. He looks up, offering Kurt a small smile. Kurt smiles back. "I guess I'll have to make do with having you after school and on weekends."


"Don't worry." Gingerly, Kurt links arms with him. "We're not saying goodbye."










Kurt goes back to McKinley. Blaine listens to a lot of Joan Baez.










Blaine had always been pretty content with his life. He did reasonably well in school and he liked being a part of the Warblers. He liked being surrounded by people all the time even if he wasn't particularly close to any of them. He was busy enough that he wasn't home a lot, which was more than fine with him.


Without Kurt, though, Blaine is beginning to find Dalton sort of…boring. It's the same as it was before Kurt and yet – it's just not.


There isn't anyone around to make uncomfortable cat jokes during practice or stick glittery animal-shaped pins to Blaine's bag (it started with a salamander and continued until Blaine had quite the menagerie). There's no one to skive off the last class of the day with so they can go scarf shopping or leaf through old Vogues.


Kurt still texts him eighty times a day but it does the opposite of cheering Blaine. Kurt is so busy reconnecting with all of his friends that they don't see each other very often; it's mostly every other weekend, which doesn't seem good enough when Blaine was used to spending every day with Kurt.


He misses Kurt. He misses him a lot. Without him, the Warblers just seem uppity and Wes' gavel seems stupid and Blaine feels surrounded by endless identical uniforms.


Without Kurt, Blaine's lonely.










New Directions is having some sort of late practice and Kurt demands Blaine's attendance, so on Friday after classes he makes the drive down to Lima. It's a drive that's getting very familiar by now.


Kurt drags him with a hand tight in Blaine's sleeve through the empty hallways, pointing out this or that classroom, taking Blaine to his locker, the tour culminating in the choir room. The other kids are already there, scattered, and Finn and Rachel are the only ones who wave hello to him.


Feeling rather conspicuous in his blazer, Blaine takes it off and folds it carefully over a chair then, after a moment's pause, does the same with his tie. He loosens the first few buttons of his shirt and pushes up his sleeves, noticing belatedly Kurt's eyes lingering on his arms and throat. They both flush slightly and Kurt drops his gaze.


After what feels like an endless ten minutes of noise – Rachel talking loudly over everyone, Santana muttering under her breath in Spanish, Kurt and Mercedes voicing opposition to whatever the plan is, Finn trying to make peace – Mr. Schuester launches into what Blaine deems a completely inappropriate and surprisingly fun number.


The rest of the kids pick it up with unpracticed ease, jumping to their feet or climbing onto their chairs to dance. Kurt looks utterly at home, half rolling his eyes and half enjoying himself.


Blaine just watches them, unsure of his place until he feels a warm hand on his shoulder and Mr. Schuester says, "What are you waiting for? Join in!"


Blaine smiles politely and stands, still uncertain. Then Tina and Brittany grab him, yanking him into their dance circle, and he catches Kurt smiling at him from across the room.


It's messy and it certainly doesn't follow protocol and he's not sure if he approves of teachers dancing with students but Blaine has to admit – it is fun.


Afterwards, Kurt sits him down to brainstorm ideas for his assignment of the week – which amounts to Kurt talking animatedly at length and Blaine just trying to keep track. He smiles because it's impossible not to and nods in what he assumes are the right places, eyes following Kurt's hands absently as he gestures.


When Kurt hops up to grab a bottle of water, Mercedes levels Blaine with a look. "Boy," she says. "What is up here?"


Blaine shrugs innocently, becoming suddenly very interested in his bag. "What's up with what?"


"Don't make me ask again."


"Nothing is up," Blaine says carefully, looking up at her and beaming. "I'm happy that Kurt's happy."


She looks poised to press the issue but Kurt bounds back over before she can so she drops it, shooting Blaine a look somehow both affectionate and annoyed as fuck. It's the first hint he gets that one day she may like him.










Blaine is just going to wait – wait until Kurt's crush passes (which it will, once there's a new boy, once Kurt realizes Blaine's just too damn clueless) and then they'll just be friends. It'll be simpler and easier and no one will end up heartbroken. Not even Blaine.










They go out of their way to see each other. It's both familiar and not, a callback to the days when they weren't so close. Sometimes Kurt will visit Dalton, looking nostalgic but not really sorry; mostly Blaine drives down to Lima and plants himself on Kurt's couch for an eighth viewing of Moulin Rouge! or something similar.


They've both seen it so many times that they pretty much end up giggling and cracking jokes or singing along. Blaine spins Kurt during the can-can and tries to dip him, succeeding only in dropping Kurt on his ass next to the coffee table. Kurt is laughing hard, almost gasping for breath, but he's blushing too and Blaine can't help the tiny hint of admiration that runs through him. He likes it when Kurt blushes, very much.







Part Three

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